You know things are not going well when Baby turns a hideous shade of green. Baby can climb into a tub and drown, eat broken glass, and chug down a bottle of bleach in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Baby crawls, with odd clawing hand motions, faster than any baby you’ve seen. Once in the game, you will use WASD keys and the mouse to achieve your goals of keeping your precious bundle of joy safe and sound before Mommy arrives home. Since Who’s Your Daddy offers zero solo options, and no local multiplayer, you are dependent on the game server. Jumping into this game is fast, provided you can find someone else on the server. Baby can hide out of sight without a problem.

Daddy slaps on outlet covers, finds pills to heal Baby, and installs cabinet locks to keep Baby out of harm’s way in the fast-flying four minute rounds.

Daddy clomps through the two-story home to complete a dizzying (and boring) array of safety-related chores. There isn’t any.ĭaddy moves with too loud footsteps. But still, no matter how hard you try to save your baby, the baby will win most of the time.

Remember those places for later and then use them to your advantage. Look in drawers and the bathtub and the oven. The problem is this: there are batteries everywhere and the fork is somehow always within reach. There are too many simple ways for the baby to commit suicide, such as eating batteries or sticking a fork in an outlet. The goal is obvious, but the purpose of this game is unclear. Note to Baby: skip the oven and the bathtub drowning - it takes too long. Contrary to basic human instinct, Baby is trying to die the fastest way possible. The point of this game is to keep baby alive, at least, if you fulfill the role of “clueless” Daddy while rushing around completing chores. There are no meters to fill, no secrets to unravel. Daddy and baby, however, don’t rank high on the fun and adorable pixelated scale. The main menu of this game will remind you of The Sims 2, from the low poly blue banana and salt shaker prints on the wall to the stack of glasses on the boxy kitchen cabinets. Anything, absolutely anything, is better than this drivel. Go, do the laundry, mop the floor, take the dog for a walk, or start a daisy chain.

Play this game if you have nothing else to do. It’s the lack of attention to detail that shines through from beginning to grisly end. Slip into the shoes of an incompetent dad, one who litters his home with batteries, bleach, and full bathtubs

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